Ilinca is spoken for

[topum]

We came back to the village in the evening and a lot is going on here. All the women are gone to Ilinca's house. One of the girls we met at the edge of the village was in a hurry to get there with a big plate of home-made pastries. Our host greeted her and asked her something but she did not even stop just told him "Ilinca is spoken for!" and kept running.

Men are not welcome at Ilinca's house tonight (including her dad and brothers!) and straight from the fields we all went to some other house where three women had dinner prepared already for all the men in the village (because the wives are gone), they set up the table for us quickly and ran to Ilinca's house too.

Read more about Ilinca here.

We will know the details tomorrow.

Comments

[bardcat.livejournal.com]

Fascinating

[topum.livejournal.com]

It is fascinating how they live through major events in their lives together with their whole community. Everyone remembers being part of each others key moments in life.

[sleepybadger.livejournal.com]

Hope she found a nice, mature one! How serious is "spoken for"? Is it like being serious bf/gf? Being engaged?

[topum.livejournal.com]

It is 100% getting married soon. Lower levels of commitment are not accepted here by girls with background similar to Ilinca's, ha ha.

[beautesauvage13.livejournal.com]

Congratulations to Illinca and the guy  (What's his name?)

Of course I'm assuming by "spoken for" it means she's engaged to be married.  I suppose it could also mean she's joined a convent and has decided to become a nun. 

Athena

[topum.livejournal.com]

"Spoken for" sounded very old fashioned to me too.

Yes, it means she is getting married soon. We will have all the info tomorrow when the women are back and the gossip starts. Men here do not ask about stuff like this much even though we drank with her father tonight and congratulated him. We just know it is Danut (Dan) from one of the neighbouring villages (meaning that Ilinca is going to leave the village and go to her husband's). We can hear the women singing at Ilinca's house. And laughing, and crying, well it is a whole lot of drunk women and it looks like it is going to be a long night for them.

[beautesauvage13.livejournal.com]

Only one thing to do get the boys together and break out the vodka or whatever they drink over there. 

Athena

[topum.livejournal.com]

Pretty much anything, Moldova has highest consumption of alcohol in the world. They like a drink here and man, they can drink.

[http://users.livejournal.com/luckyboi-/]

Sounds like a place I will like. Small village, big drama.....and lots of alcohol!

[topum.livejournal.com]

Yes, a killer combo.

[bunn.livejournal.com]

I hope she will be happy. I always wonder, with women who are in a culture where they are strongly forced to one path, do they not want choice, or can they not see it?

[topum.livejournal.com]

They are not forced here, she really wants this. Her sister is completely different, doesn't plan to get married before 30s, will go to Bucharest to study and dies her hair blue sometimes. Nobody has a prob with it, her parents say "They are just different". They helped Ilinca get married and will help her sister go to the "big city".

[bunn.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to hear it!

[topum.livejournal.com]

They have been through Soviet times and one thing it took care of is gender equality. There is none of the things one would see in middle east, etc here. Women co-run this place with men. Many do choose family though (and more do in this generation than the previous one). There doesn't seem to be male dictate in the families either. Actually we learned that whenever we need something from a family here (for example swap part of their land with ours), men will be huffing and puffing but it is the wife that we need to get a blessing from to get things moving, men would be terrified to do anything without it.

[bunn.livejournal.com]

For me, it's a little horrifying for a child of that age to be making such a permanent commitment, none the less. But I suppose that is just as much a product of my background and culture as her decision is of hers.

[topum.livejournal.com]

Permanent commitments are scary at any age. Not making them though is also a decision that can be scary. To her staying single, sleeping around, not having kids soon, living alone is probably equally scary from what I could tell. She is very family focused so is her future husband (same age), they can't wait to get it all going ).